Redneck Holiday

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson