Redneck Holiday

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! - Amanda Bradley

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa