Raise Twins

Adults are just obsolete children. - Dr. Seuss

Children are poor people's riches. - Unknown

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Sam Levenson

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

Adolescence is the conjugator of childhood and adulthood. - Louise J. Kaplan

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be. - Unknown

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Grow up, and that is a terribly hard thing to do. It is much easier to skip it and go from one childhood to another. - F Scott Fitzgerald

You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, 'Am I having fun?' - Christopher Meloni

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan