Raise Twins

Childhood is a wilderness. - Aspen Matis

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

Teach the children so it will not be necessary to teach the adults. - Abraham Lincoln

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

Women should not have children after 35. Really? 35 children is enough. - Bill Murray

Inspiration at its best means breath, and only too frequently means wind. - G K Chesterton

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

Inspiration responds to our attentiveness in various and sometimes unexpected ways. - Wayne W Dyer

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

Vasectomy: 1. Never having to say you're sorry; 2. Spoil the rod. Spare the child. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. - Napoleon Hill

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

We've got to work to save our children and do it with full respect for the fact that if we do not, no one else is going to do it. - Dorothy Height

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey