Newfie Parking

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Dubmerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright