#1 humor site on the 'net

New Player

Premiere League Foosball with kick start option

New Player thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Foosball equivalent to a golf handicap

QuotaBills
Dairymaid: A girl who ought to know butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. - Coco Chanel

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve. - Ring Lardner

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I kind of wanted to be a vampire. - Angelina Jolie

Tease: A girl who is always thinking of a man’s happiness, and how to prevent it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Flirt: 1. A girl who got the boy you wanted; 2. A woman who believes it's every man for herself. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

We have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is talent and training, not color, that makes a ballet dancer. - Arthur Mitchell

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. - Groucho Marx

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. - Bob Hope

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


Sons Of Arthritis

Husband Colors

Soccer Watch

Finger Lickin' Good!

Scottish Variant

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year

Child Disarma-meant

Ancient Greek Stormtrooper

Ferrous Wheel

Dese Are My Bebies

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated