#1 humor site on the 'net

New Player

Premiere League Foosball with kick start option

New Player thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Foosball equivalent to a golf handicap

QuotaBills
If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. - Coco Chanel

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve. - Ring Lardner

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. - Notting Hill

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Tease: A girl who is always thinking of a man’s happiness, and how to prevent it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses. - Rosalind Russell

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


Glamour Training

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

Tooth Ferry

Snail On The Run

Quarantine Response

Mistake Variations

Wood Not Be Safe

Junkyard Art

Advice for the Cat

Life Is Like Photography

Baptised Trespassers

European Men - History Timeline

Raxe

Male Multitasker

Fork In The Road

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Goat Trick

Genuine Fake Watches

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Edible Pet Clothing