New Player

Girl: A giggle with glitter on it. - Unknown

Wrestling is ballet with violence. - Jesse Ventura

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve. - Ring Lardner

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42. - WC Fields

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

Who would ever think that so much can go on in the soul of a young girl? - Anne Frank

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Unknown

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. - Marilyn Monroe

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always enjoyed feeling afraid. I think it is the most delicious feeling there is. - Domingos Monteiro

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy