#1 humor site on the 'net

New Player

Premiere League Foosball with kick start option

New Player thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Foosball equivalent to a golf handicap

QuotaBills
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. - Leo Robin

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

I'm due at the ballet. They're doin' Swoon Lake. - Archie Bunker

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42. - WC Fields

I'm the girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. - Mae West

Mermaid: 1. A deep she fish; 2. A bottomless girl in a topless suit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. - Notting Hill

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I kind of wanted to be a vampire. - Angelina Jolie

Tease: A girl who is always thinking of a man’s happiness, and how to prevent it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Unknown

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses. - Rosalind Russell

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

I don't think much of a dance step where the girl looks like she was being carried out of a burning building. - Kin Hubbard

We have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is talent and training, not color, that makes a ballet dancer. - Arthur Mitchell

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. - Bob Hope

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off. - Rodney Dangerfield


New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life

Dog Walker

New Zealand Prepares For War

Window Washing Daredevil

Aussie Ford Coupe

Pushing The Envelope

Window Fall Repair

Bacon Balls

Tiny Forest

Inside Loo View

Finally 21

Diet Swing

Vealy Big Meal