#1 humor site on the 'net

Mr. Flexible

Taking stretch exercises to an outer limit

Mr. Flexible thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

I like to stretch my acting muscles. - Samantha Morton

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hardly ever stretch the canvas before painting. - Jackson Pollock

When I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar. - Paul Clisura

Yacht: 1. A floating debt; 2. Stretch limo of the seas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Jumping At Conclusions: Not half as much exercise as digging for facts - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings

Be stubbornly committed to your team, but flexible in your leadership style. - Jo Miller

I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio. - Gerald R. Ford

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

To be wholly devoted to some intellectual exercise is to have succeeded in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Surfing's one of the few sports that you look ahead to see what's behind. - Laird Hamilton

Crochet: An exercise that gives women something to think about when they are talking - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

Gaming goes in trends, and for a bit of a too-long stretch, it focused on huge productions. - Markus Persson

A good role is something that will stretch your abilities and make you go beyond your levels. - Jennifer Winget

Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years. - Jarod Kintz

I'm a chameleon when it come to guitar playing, and like to stretch out into different territories. - Nancy Wilson

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

My job is not to make decisions but to set stretch objectives and help our managers work out how to reach them. - Sergio Marchionne

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

I've had a very good stretch with startup investing, and I think it's very important to know when to hold your chips. - Tim Ferriss

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

It is good to be tired and wearied by the futile search after the true good, that we may stretch out our arms to the Redeemer. - Blaise Pascal

It's the generally accepted privilege of theologians to stretch the heavens, that is the Scriptures, like tanners with a hide. - Desiderius Erasmus

The great thing about irony is that it splits things apart, gets up above them so we can see the flaws and hypocrisies and duplicates. - David F Wallace

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness. - Les Brown

To win back my youth... There is nothing I wouldn't do - except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community. - Oscar Wilde

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way. - Swami Vivekananda

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic young people off the job market and off the streets. We stretch puberty out a long, long time. - Toni Morrison

Traveling the world was a constant thing, rich with experiences. But all of it was relative to being able to play live onstage and really stretch out. - Jimmy Page


NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks