Monkeying Around

Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Trouble came - as trouble so often does - with a monkey. - Paul Collins

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

Current Events: 1. What an electrician worries about; 2. Electric shocks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, 'Why stop at one?' - Robert Downey Jr

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

Bob War: (Southern) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: 'Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line. - Elvis Presley

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown