#1 humor site on the 'net

Leave Toes Outside

What weird food do you crave?

Leave Toes Outside thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The camel does not see her own hump. - Greek Proverb

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Cake is the answer, no matter the question. - Unknown

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. - James Beard

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

That's the straw that broke the camel's neck. - Archie Bunker

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts


Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Redneck Post Support

Indiana Jeans

First Performance

Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho