Inside A Computer

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. - Henry Thoreau

Middle Age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms. - Georges Clemenceau

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber