#1 humor site on the 'net

Ice Fountain

Where not to drink on a cold winter day

Ice Fountain thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When your tongue meets frozen metal

QuotaBills
I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


The Good Old Days

Towel Dog

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Battery Update

Russian Beach

How To Improve New Orleans

Drone Crossing

Air Guitar

Fly Art

Texas Rain Gauge

Camel Hatchback

Teahouse of the August Moon

Bent Baby

Deluxembourg

Lost Head

Moving Sofa

Florida Golf Hazard

Billionaire Thoughts

Graduation Swag

U.S. Millionaires

How To Save NASA

Computer Travelers

Virtual Air Canada

Jockey Racing