#1 humor site on the 'net

His and Her Pumps

Getting pumped for your first date

His and Her Pumps thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Two monsoons are the age of a man. - Bombay Proverb

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. - American Proverb

The man who has done his best has done everything. - Charles M. Schwab

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is. - Albert Camus

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. - William C. McAdoo

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him. - Booker T. Washington

I was born a slave, but nature gave me a soul of a free man. - Toussaint Louverture

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

A man is never so on trial as in the moment of excessive good fortune. - Lew Wallace

If thou art a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf. - Thomas Fuller

An optimist is a man who starts a crossword puzzle with a fountain pen. - Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated. - Ernest Hemingway

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself. - Anthony Trollope

I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his sense. - William Makepeace Thackeray

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. - Henry David Thoreau

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk. - Soren Kierkegaard

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Harland Sanders

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. - George S Patton

Man is more interesting than men. God made him and not them in his image. Each one is more precious than all. - Andre Gide

One machine can do the work of a hundred ordinary men, but no machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

The biggest thing separating people from their artistic ambitions is not a lack of talent. It's the lack of a deadline. - Chris Baty

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly


Tartan Headphones

Husband Quarantine

Aussie Salad

Greta on Chopsticks

Darkness Eliminator

Don't Touch Your Face

Pet Dentist

Falcon Resting in a Tree

Wine Day

Fishnet Table

Sink Lynx

No Swimming

Going Up

The Honey Truck

Flying is so Overrated

Wear Fur Without Killing Animals

Nutella Soother

Teaching Hotle

Cowgirl High Heels

Coast Guard Cutbacks

Woodpecker Trio

Evolution and Philosophy

Pizza Cutter

Polite Breakfast