CPU Marshmallows

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off the lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. - Lillian Carter

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore. - Unknown

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown