#1 humor site on the 'net

CPU Marshmallows

For the computer with lots of byte

CPU Marshmallows thanks to Bill Fast

QuotaBills
Weeping Willow: Sad tree - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore. - Unknown

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

Geometry: 1. What the acorn said after it grew up; 2. A tree made up of numbers and letters; 3. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez


Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt