#1 humor site on the 'net

Country Cookin'

Make sure you don't give one of our burgers to the horse!

Country Cookin' thanks to Bill Carter

1st McDon’s take-out in Romania

Before Chicken McNuggets came Horse Cookies

QuotaBills
Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Stabilized: A horse that's been locked in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Absent-Mindedness: Searching for the horse you are riding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

BP: Company in Gulf of Mexico that turns your barbecue into a tarbecue. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unicorn: 1. A single blemish on the foot; 2. A horse with a point of view. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Sherbet: 1. A horse that can't lose; 2. A tip on a horse race or sporting event. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong


Balanced Meal

Acoustic Hearing Aids

Redneck Advent Calendar

Programmer Logic

Lego Haircut

Lettuce Face

Hammock Wine

Catch Anything Lately?

Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special