#1 humor site on the 'net

Computerholic

Root-bound computer programming - online branch office

Computerholic thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Root-ing around for the best humour at joe-ks.com

QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

Storms make the oak take deeper root. - George Herbert

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

The love of evil is the root of all money. - American Proverb

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light. - Theodore Roethke

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. - Pauline R. Kezer

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


Equal Rights Church

Bring me Solo and the Wookie

Monongahela River

Hockey Rivalry: Vancouver Canucks vs. Calgary Flames

Extreme Skateboarding

Dentist Drill

Rabbit Boost

Potting Pot

Devil's Food Rose Cake

Computer Memory Family

Tearable Puns

Baby Hatching

Free Paper

Welcome to New Zealand

Squeegee Clothing

Stay!

Ice Bird

Black Plague II

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Perfectly In Tune With Nature

Lawn Time Awakening

Flatulent Cow

Attention Span

Redneck Cat Found