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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. - Phyllis Diller

My head says gym, but my heart says donuts. - Unknown

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears. - Unknown

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

To be wholly devoted to some intellectual exercise is to have succeeded in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. - Brene Brown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Gratitude is a twofold love - love coming to visit us, and love running out to greet a welcome guest. - Henry Van Dyke

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Running! If there's any activity happier, more exhilarating, more nourishing to the imagination, I can't imagine what it might be. - Joyce Carol Oates

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha


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