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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

Debase: What a baseball player tags while running - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Progressing through life is like running a marathon. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Fashion is gentility running away from vulgarity, and afraid of being overtaken. - William Hazlitt

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Animation is like running a marathon, and making a movie is like a 100 meter sprint. - Marjane Satrapi

It isn't failing that spells one's downfall; it's running away, giving up. - Michel Greco

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Gratitude is a twofold love - love coming to visit us, and love running out to greet a welcome guest. - Henry Van Dyke

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Consuming mushrooms regularly has been associated with decreased risk of breast, stomach and colorectal cancers. - Joel Fuhrman

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins


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