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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

My head says gym, but my heart says donuts. - Unknown

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting. - Bill Murray

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

I live in California, so I do stand-up paddle board, which is a killer workout. - Ashley Wagner

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Animation is like running a marathon, and making a movie is like a 100 meter sprint. - Marjane Satrapi

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. - Brene Brown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years. - Jarod Kintz

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland

Figure out what you hope for. Live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides. - Barbara Kingsolver

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins


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