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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

My head says gym, but my heart says donuts. - Unknown

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

Progressing through life is like running a marathon. - Joseph B Wirthlin

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch. - Mary Kay Ash

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them. - Marcus Aurelius

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

It isn't failing that spells one's downfall; it's running away, giving up. - Michel Greco

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha


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