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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

A critic is a legless man who teaches running. - Channing Pollock

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

We're running the company to serve more people. - Mark Zuckerberg

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. - Caroline Rhea

I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

Yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself. - Mary Glover

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency. - George W. Bush

Fashion is gentility running away from vulgarity, and afraid of being overtaken. - William Hazlitt

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. - Rwandan Proverb

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Figure out what you hope for. Live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides. - Barbara Kingsolver

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins


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