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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Debase: What a baseball player tags while running - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. - Caroline Rhea

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself. - Mary Glover

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average. - Unknown

Jumping At Conclusions: Not half as much exercise as digging for facts - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them. - Marcus Aurelius

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. - Rwandan Proverb

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. - Brene Brown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


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