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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. - Phyllis Diller

My head says gym but my heart says tacos. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

A critic is a legless man who teaches running. - Channing Pollock

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

We're running the company to serve more people. - Mark Zuckerberg

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting. - Bill Murray

Middle age is when you are not inclined to exercise anything but caution. - Arthur Murray

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them. - Marcus Aurelius

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate. - Jarod Kintz

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

The Good of man is the active exercise of his soul's faculties in conformity with excellence or virtue. - Aristotle

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


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