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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym I call it James. - Chi McBride

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. - Mark Twain

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency. - George W. Bush

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Gratitude is a twofold love - love coming to visit us, and love running out to greet a welcome guest. - Henry Van Dyke

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me. - Markus Zusak

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins


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