Border Patrol At Its Finest

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash