Best Fairy Tale

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

Voters want a fraud they can believe in. - Will Durst

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. - Isaac Goldberg

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least. - Robert Byrne

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

The secret of political bargaining is to look more strong than what you really are. - Subhash Bose

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. - Graham Linehan

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien