Best Fairy Tale

All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

Feudalism: It's your Count that votes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle

Voters don't decide issues, they decide who will decide issues. - George Will

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

Whenever a fellow tells me he's bipartisan, I know he's going to vote against me. - Harry S Truman

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. - Winston Churchill

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov