#1 humor site on the 'net

Bent Baby

Baby On Board or Baby On Bored?

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How not to take your baby for a stroll

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Fishing Dog

Real Waterbed

Enjoy The Moment

Dead Hand

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Stop The Pipeline

Fake Brakes

Business In Front, Party In Back

Co-Pilot Seat

Beard Fashion

Canadian Parking

Car Wrecker

Redneck Faucet

Feather Cleaning

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Tough Love

Easter Island

Flood Bridge

Don't Count On It

Upended Water Buffalo

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo