Baby Brew

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown