#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Brew

Soothers to calm even the fussiest baby

Baby Brew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Making bedtime more fun!

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun