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Wedding Invitation

Regrettable invitation to whatsherface's wedding

Wedding Invitation thanks to Cathy Young

But I'm not bitter!

QuotaBills
Marry money. - Max Shulman

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


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