Waiting For Dinner

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. - Benjamin Franklin

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen