#1 humor site on the 'net

'Underneath That' Cake

Try out Wal-Mart Bakery's new 'Underneath Cake'

[This is how the conversation went...]
Wal-Mart Employee: Hello ’dis Walmart, how can I help you?”
Customer:
I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.”
Wal-Mart Employee:
What you want on the cake?”
Customer: “Best Wishes Suzanne”, and underneath that, “we will miss you.”

'Underneath That' Cake thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

The cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Happy birthday to a sister who has the best sister in the world. - Unknown

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. - H L Mencken

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

You're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it. - Felix Severn

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

I always add a year to myself, so I'm prepared for my next birthday. So when I was 39, I was already 40. - Nicolas Cage

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Thank you to all who posted kind birthday wishes. I'm touched. The rest of you will be un-friended tomorrow. - Unknown

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

I'm a very keen baker; I pride myself on my cakes. I go along the classic sponge line, but I like to jazz it up: I've made some psychedelic birthday cakes. - Greg Rutherford

I am a big popcorn fanatic. I love popcorn. In fact one year for my birthday, my husband bought me one of those big popcorn machines like they have in movie theaters. - Debbie Macomber

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes". - Steven Wright

When I went to visit this rice cake plant, I hadn't realized how the rice cakes were made. As soon as I saw the molds of rice and how the heat pops it like popcorn, the light bulb went off. This is popped. This isn't baked or fried. - Keith Belling


Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode