'Underneath That' Cake

Life is too short to skip cake. - Unknown

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Live everyday like its your birthday. - Paris Hilton

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Cake is the answer, no matter the question. - Unknown

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere. - Unknown

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. - H L Mencken

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. - Ludwig Erhard

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Thank you to all who posted kind birthday wishes. I'm touched. The rest of you will be un-friended tomorrow. - Unknown

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's very easy to confuse Sean Connery with James Bond. Sometimes in the entertainment industry, people believe the cake is more real than the baker. - Judd Nelson

I am a big popcorn fanatic. I love popcorn. In fact one year for my birthday, my husband bought me one of those big popcorn machines like they have in movie theaters. - Debbie Macomber

When I went to visit this rice cake plant, I hadn't realized how the rice cakes were made. As soon as I saw the molds of rice and how the heat pops it like popcorn, the light bulb went off. This is popped. This isn't baked or fried. - Keith Belling