'Underneath That' Cake

Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

There's one good thing about being bald: it's neat. - Milton Berle

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

Writing is only the frosting on my cake. I'm whole without it. - Tabitha King

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. - Steven Wright

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

It's very easy to confuse Sean Connery with James Bond. Sometimes in the entertainment industry, people believe the cake is more real than the baker. - Judd Nelson

I have a very big sweet tooth and I love treating myself to something that I wouldn't necessarily eat during the tournament such as a nice-sized cake. - Maria Sharapova

I am a big popcorn fanatic. I love popcorn. In fact one year for my birthday, my husband bought me one of those big popcorn machines like they have in movie theaters. - Debbie Macomber

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry

A happy life is made up of little things - a gift sent, a letter written, a call made, a recommendation given, transportation provided, a cake made, a book lent, a check sent. - Carol Holmes

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes". - Steven Wright

When I went to visit this rice cake plant, I hadn't realized how the rice cakes were made. As soon as I saw the molds of rice and how the heat pops it like popcorn, the light bulb went off. This is popped. This isn't baked or fried. - Keith Belling