The Honey Truck

Living is like licking honey off a thorn. - Unknown

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Poker is a tough way to make an easy living. - Bob Thompson

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

It's not the years, honey. It's the mileage. - Indiana Jones

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. - Unknown

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Sally plays strip poker. Whenever she loses, she has to put something on. - Steven Wright

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon