Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

There's one good thing about being bald: it's neat. - Milton Berle

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler