#1 humor site on the 'net

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Enjoying the pool while letting your hair down

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

There's one good thing about being bald: it's neat. - Milton Berle

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Donkey Cart

Music Note Chairlift

Thanks For Noticing

Winter Cyclist

No-Lake Picture

Morning Coffee Break

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Sign Crime

Royal Family Scrutiny

Bringing It Home

Secret Revealed

Women Pro Golfers

Alternative To Spanking

Laser Cats

At My Age I Need Glasses

Yoga Wine

Slip Sliding Away

Wi-Fi Free Restaurant

Buffalo Construction Plans

For Best Results

Ruling On Criticism

Bacon Pancakes

Very Left Turn Driver

Cold Sermon