Spot the Thief

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry