#1 humor site on the 'net

Spider Time

Do you know why Spider Time goes so fast?

Spider Time thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Normal clocks have 2 hands, but spider clocks have 8 legs

“Mom, do you know where my pet spider went? I’m running out of time.”
QuotaBills
There is time for everything. - Thomas Edison

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Lack of time is actually lack of priorities. - Tim Ferriss

The time is always right to do the right thing. - Unknown

I am just turning 40 and taking my time about it. - Harold Lloyd

If I had more time, I would write a shorter letter. - Blaise Pascal

There's always time for the things you put first. - Unknown

The third time you say a thing, it sounds like a lie. - Harrison Ford

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

One thing at a time. Most important thing first. Start now. - Caroline Webb

Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead. - Scottish Proverb

He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. - Richard Nixon

No, no! The adventures first, explanations take such a dreadful time. - Lewis Carroll

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

The best time management strategy: don't find the time, find the why. - Chris Guillebeau

Drum soloing is like doing a marathon and solving equations at the same time. - Neil Peart

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. - Adlai Stevenson

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. - Unknown

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. - Benjamin Franklin

Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in. - Andrew Jackson

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. - Laurence J. Peter

Time neither subtracts nor divides, but adds at such a pace it seems like multiplication. - Bob Talbert

Every time you think the problem is 'out there,' that very thought is the problem. - Stephen Covey

Your time is precious. Don't waste it on anyone who doesn't realize that you are, too. - Unknown

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. - Unknown

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. - Ursula K. Leguin

There's no such thing as lack of time, only lack of focus. We can all do the things we really want to do. - Robyn Pearce

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. - George Burns

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

Audiences everywhere are tough. They don't have time to be bored or brow beaten by orthodox, old fashioned advertising. - Craig Davis

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

There is a strange moment in time, after something horrible happens, when you know it's true, but you haven't told anyone yet. - Barbara Kingsolver

How much replay do we want? Because if you start doing it from the first inning to the ninth inning, you may have to time the game with a calendar. - Joe Torre


Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing