#1 humor site on the 'net

Snail Time

Clock for days that just never end

Snail Time thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How many ring hours 'til your shift is done?

Great for watch-ing time!
QuotaBills
Back since time immamoral. - Archie Bunker

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. - John Lennon

Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes

One sees things for the first time only once. - Theodore H White

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. - Groucho Marx

Time goes, you say? Ah, no! Alas, Time stays, we go. - Austin Dobson

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. - Cyril Northcote Parkinson

It's time to start living the life you've imagined. - Henry James

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. - JRR Tolkien

Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end? - Tom Stoppard

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. - Andrew Marvell

I had only a little time left and I didn't want to waste it on God. - Albert Camus

A teacher affects eternity. He can never tell where his influence stops. - Henry Adams

It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time. - Jorge Luis Borges

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

One of the funniest antidotes of all time - you sit there like you're in a comma. - Archie Bunker

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

If we were born knowing everything, what would we do with all this time on this earth? - Nelly

Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days. - Zig Ziglar

Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be. - Eckhart Tolle

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress. - Charles Kettering

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. - Unknown

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right. - Albert Einstein

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies?
There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. - Groucho Marx

I am a gypsy. I haven't had a home for a long time. Call me a homeless person - I just throw everything in a bag and I'm good to go. - Taylor Kinney

The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. - Barack Obama

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


Cheap Child Support

Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase

Coffee Caricature

The Working Man

North of Somewhere

Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane

Air Wakanda

Birthday Bonus