Segway Stroller

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. - Unknown

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Inventing is seeing the same problem that everyone around the world is seeing, but looking at it differently. - Dean Kamen

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three dollar pantyhose that won't run. - Phyllis Diller

I have not the shadow of a doubt that any man or woman can achieve what I have, if he or she will make the same effort, and have the same hope and faith. - Mahatma Gandhi