Segway Stroller

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

The legs are the wheels of creativity. - Albert Einstein

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

When I was young, I kissed my first woman and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. Believe me, never since have I wasted any more time on tobacco. - Arturo Toscanini

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry. - H L Mencken

The great human advances have not been brought about by mediocre men and women. They were brought about by distinctly uncommon people with vital sparks of leadership. - Herbert Hoover

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house. - George Burns

Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money. - Unknown