Segway Stroller

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

Woman, the most dangerous of playthings. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise. - Unknown

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

My greatest regret is not knowing at 30 what I knew about women at 60. - Arthur Miller

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

Flirt: 1. A girl who got the boy you wanted; 2. A woman who believes it's every man for herself. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams

I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality. - Fionnula Flanagan

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts. - William Shakespeare

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house. - George Burns

American Women: How they mortify the flesh in order to make it appetizing! Their beauty is a vast industry, their enduring allure a discipline which nuns or athletes might find excessive. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Valentine's Day is when stores and restaurants get rich, men get lucky, and women fill their pretty faces with chocolate and put up with their man for six seconds at the end of the night. - Unknown