Santa's Global Warming

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Sacrilege: Shelf for bottles of holy water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river. - Abraham Lincoln

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown