Santa's Global Warming

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci