Santa's Global Warming

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali

Are my hot flashes causing Global Warming? - Unknown

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Big ships can only be launched where the water is deep. - Amish Saying

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Thursday: 1. What you get when crossing the desert; 2. How you feel crossing the desert on a hot day. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle