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It's never too late for a happy childhood. - Gloria Steinem

Time is a game played beautifully by children. - Heraclitus

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien


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