#1 humor site on the 'net

Rural Free Delivery

A bundle of joy delivered to your home

Rural Free Delivery thanks to Irvin Kauffman

QuotaBills
Old men are twice children. - Greek Proverb

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Adults are just outdated children. - Dr. Seuss

Children are the wisdom of the nation. - African Saying

Children need models rather than critics. - Joseph Joubert

It takes a whole village to raise a child. - African Proverb

Very sorry can't come. Lie follows by post. - Charles Beresford

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young. - Donald Trump

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

Inspiration responds to our attentiveness in various and sometimes unexpected ways. - Wayne W Dyer

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. - Unknown

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

Children's games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play. - Michel de Montaigne

No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses - one vaccine at a time, over time. - Donald Trump

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

The men who have furnished me with my greatest inspiration have not been men of wealth, but men of deeds. - James C Penney

The only way to write a great book is to write it with the eyes of a child who sees things for the first time. - Arnold Bennett

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the future. - Marian W Edelman

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

A good plate of sushi after an opening helps to soothe that post-opening blues - especially since you feel like raw meat yourself. - Jim Drain

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. - Antoine de Saint-Expurey


She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races

Bed Equalizer

David's Return To Italy

Sick Pumpkin

Winning An Argument With A Woman

Why Dogs Bite Their Owners

Barcode Eyelashes

Howloween

Caviar Burger

Icelandic Police Donuts

Size Matters

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot