Redneck Porch Hunter

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway