Redneck Porch Hunter

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway