Redneck Porch Hunter

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com