Racewagon

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin