#1 humor site on the 'net

Politician Training

How to become a politician & fleece your consituents

Politician Training thanks to Ken Ward

New ethics training for politicians baaaaa-d for morale

QuotaBills
Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


Fence Sitter

New College Game Show

Hands On Tree

Road Shortcut

Running Tears

Swingers

Bird Cam

Parent Signature

Bread Additive

Dates For Everyone

Tree of Dreams

Temporarily Insane Boat Ride

Exit Door

Handicap Motorcyclist

New Canada Bill

Staff Teeth

Funnel Farm

Buffalo Prod

Meat Pie

Where Nobody Speeds

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View

Good Conductor

Kelp Us!