#1 humor site on the 'net

Politician Training

How to become a politician & fleece your consituents

Politician Training thanks to Ken Ward

New ethics training for politicians baaaaa-d for morale

QuotaBills
Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

I don't go around signin' no political documentaries. - Archie Bunker

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

The secret of political bargaining is to look more strong than what you really are. - Subhash Bose

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. - Kin Hubbard

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi

Political correctness is about denial, usually in the weasel circumlocutory jargon which distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest analysis. - George M Fraser


Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck

Motorcycle For Sale

Dog Cross

Pigeon Drink

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt