PMS Center

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller