New Deer Rifle
Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle
1. Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle... $1,200
2. Quality, high-powered scope... $550
3. Bore sighting device... $140
4. Hospital Visit... $4,893
5. Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting?
Priceless!
Deer 1 Hunter 0
GAME OVER
QuotaBillsHunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown
A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson
Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown
Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown
He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb
Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded. - Unknown
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns
You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin
I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin
Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder
Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown
I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan
Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton
An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II
In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas
While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump
Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown
The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna
Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly
I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy
I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan
When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow
You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump
When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway