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New Deer Rifle

Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle

1. Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle... $1,200
2. Quality, high-powered scope... $550
3. Bore sighting device... $140
4. Hospital Visit... $4,893
5. Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting?
Priceless!
Deer 1 Hunter 0
GAME OVER
New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

QuotaBills
Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Stucco: What a lot of house hunters are getting these days - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

To hunt successfully, you must know your ground, your pack, and your quarry. - K J Parker

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be. - Fred Bear

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. - Marie Curie

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan


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