New Deer Rifle
Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle
1. Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle... $1,200
2. Quality, high-powered scope... $550
3. Bore sighting device... $140
4. Hospital Visit... $4,893
5. Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting?
Priceless!
Deer 1 Hunter 0
GAME OVER
QuotaBillsShoot folly as it flies. - Alexander Pope
Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown
Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded. - Unknown
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown
Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns
Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde
You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin
I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin
The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant
Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton
In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. - Marie Curie
I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray
The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna
Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly
I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup
I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey
I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan
When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow
You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump