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New Deer Rifle

Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle

1. Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle... $1,200
2. Quality, high-powered scope... $550
3. Bore sighting device... $140
4. Hospital Visit... $4,893
5. Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to shooting?
Priceless!
Deer 1 Hunter 0
GAME OVER
New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

New Deer Rifle thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

QuotaBills
Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded. - Unknown

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway


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