McDonalds Reaches Africa

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright