#1 humor site on the 'net

Making Light of Christmas

A quick way to put up the Christmas lights this year

The wife has been on my case to get the Christmas lights up for a couple of weeks. They are up now and for some reason she will not talk to me...

Making Light of Christmas thanks to Roy Taylor

Get holiday lights installed on your house by pros

QuotaBills
Light tomorrow with today. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

Through darkness diamonds spread their richest light. - John Webster

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

What's done in the dark will be paraded in the light. - Charles Wynn

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

She may very well pass for 43 in the dusk with the light behind her! - W S Gilbert

Light is the greatest disinfectant in nature and also in organizations. - Stephen Covey

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light. - Earl Nightingale

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

We have been too long in darkness. Once already we have been in the light, and we want it again. - Alexander Dubcek

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Alan Dundes

Yoga is a light, which once lit, will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter the flame. - B.K. Iyengar

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness. - Reba McEntire

My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light! - Edna St Vincent Millay

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros


Flat Tire Repair

College in a Nutshell

Big Bird Feeder

Fast Escape

Big Basketball Fan

Night Watch

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

That Looks Expensive

Compact Fluorescent Chandelier

Paul Bunyan Load

Reducing Soap

Kite Ship

Kickback - England

Eagle Makeup

Corset Bound

Travel Clothes

How Texans View The U.S.

Most Progressive Day of the Year

Canadian Dolphin

Cold Weather Beer

You Have Enemies?

Rock Jump

Mouse Hammock

Quantum Physiques