#1 humor site on the 'net

Lost Uncle

When it's safe to go fishing for a Great White Shark

Lost Uncle thanks to Darwin McKee

Dad, I think I know where Uncle Fred's been hanging out!

QuotaBills
A friend in power is a friend lost. - Henry Adams

All our words from loose using have lost their edge. - Ernest Hemingway

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar

Come forth, Lazarus! And he came fifth and lost the job. - James Joyce

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

A science which hesitates to forget its founders is lost. - Alfred North Whitehead

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Living is using time given to you. You cannot recall lost time. - Pokemon

When my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it. - Carole King

If you want to change the world, don't back down from the sharks! - William H. McRaven

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

Friends are lost by calling too often and by not calling often enough. - French Proverb

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. - H.W. Arnold

It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all. - James Thurber

If the people you lead have lost their spark, try looking in the mirror. - Susan Fowler

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. - Helen Keller

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. - Daniel Boone

Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost. - Harold C. Schonberg

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

I am not so lost in lexicography as to forget that words are the daughters of earth. - Samuel Johnson

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Humility is a strange thing. The minute you think you've got it, you've lost it. - Unknown

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts" probably lost. - Martina Navratilova

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

Praise from a friend, or censure from a foe,
Are lost on hearers that our merits know. - Homer

I think you could build a couple of humans with the amount of skin lost on the reef at Pipe. - Martin Potter

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. - John Quincy Adams

I've missed more than 9,000 shots. I've lost almost 300 games. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


Wailea Splendour

Me No Study

Peter Cotton Ale

Social Distancing Champ

GPS Directions

Secret Exit

Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours