Light Beer House

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare