#1 humor site on the 'net

It's A Cracker

People from Down Under & the U.K. think this is hilarious

It's A Cracker thanks to Bryan Harrap

QuotaBills
Laugh it up, Fuzz ball. - Han Solo

Laughter is contagious. - Unknown

Even the gods love jokes. - Plato

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

Living Happily Ever Laughter! - Joe-kster

The gods too are fond of a joke. - Aristotle

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Good taste is the enemy of comedy. - Mel Brooks

I'd rather be funny than wise. - Dennis Miller

A joke's a very serious thing. - Charles Churchill

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live. - Milton Berle

Humor is a painful thing told playfully. - Charles W Jarvis

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

The only real laughter comes from despair. - Groucho Marx

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

I would rather be called funny than pretty. - Nia Vardalos

Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. - Peter Ustinov

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Laugh at yourself first before anyone else can. - Elsa Maxwell

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. - Arnold H Glasow

Plant smiles
Grow laughter
Harvest love - Unknown

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. - Larry Gelbart

Comedy is society protecting itself - with a smile. - J.B. Priestley

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Laughter is the closest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

Humour is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. - e e cummings

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. - Woody Allen

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. - Tom Lehrer

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche. - Stephen Colbert

Menopause: you have to laugh or you'll end up crying. - Missa Says

There is nothing laughable about a clown in the moonlight. - Lon Chaney

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

You can't be funny if you don't have good material. - Matt LeBlanc

A sense of humour is the ability to laugh at one's self. - Charlie Chaplin

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. - Jack Handey

The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous. - David Icke

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

May my last breath be drawn through a pipe and exhaled in a pun. - Charles Lamb

For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died. - George Burns

Isn't it funny that anything the Supreme Court says is right? - Robert Frost

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense. - Jacob Riis

Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. - Fred Allen

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it. - Don Herold

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. - Dr. Seuss

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott

Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education. - William Hazlitt

The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank A. Clark

I want to make people laugh so that they'll see things seriously. - William K Zinsser

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

The best way to make your audience laugh is to start laughing yourself. - Oliver Goldsmith

The best ideas come as joe-ks. Make your thinking as funny as possibell. - Joe-kster

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William Thackeray

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway

If the cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different. - Oscar Wilde

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. - Mahatma Gandhi

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. - Allen Klein

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke? - Gore Vidal

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Agnes Repplier

Comedy's a funny game, it's not a job, it's a vocation - you never stop. - Eric Sykes

I want someone who can keep me on my toes, has a good sense of humor and a good heart. - Carmen Electra

You don't have to teach people to be funny, you only have to give them permission. - Harvey Mindess

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me. - joe-kster

There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If evil be said of thee, and if it be true, correct thyself; if it be a lie, laugh at it. - Epictetus

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. - Ronnie Barker

Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. - Kathryn Carpenter

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B. White

There are three basic rules for great comedy. Unfortunately no-one can remember what they are. - Arthur Smith

Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times. - John Gerzema

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - the sinners are much more fun. - Billy Joel

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. - Charles Bukowski

Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry, and you're probably watching the wrong channel. - Groucho Marx

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor. - Jennifer Jones

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

There's nothing better than a world where everybody's just trying to make each other laugh. - Matthew Perry

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old. - Edgar Watson Howe

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. - Jesse Ventura

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find his own. - Logan P. Smith

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. - Norm Papernick

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. - Bob Hope

The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. - Tina Fey

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. - Groucho Marx

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. - Audrey Hepburn

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it. - Groucho Marx

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. - Peter De Vries

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad. - Arnold H. Glasow

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W H Auden

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved. - J. Russell Lynes

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

You May Pet Me

Whatever Time

Cutting Off Board

Car Swarm

We Open

Cloud Computing

Feather Fashion

Nitrate

Proper English

Winter SOS

Canadian Driving Perk

Radio Shack Closes Down

Lunch Apple

Country Office

Pre Tsunami

Olive Weather Forecast

Flood Float

Mud Pie

Double Your Vision

Piano Ring

Extra Safe Lock

Believe In Yourself

Kid Search