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IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Exercise to help you prepare for this year's taxes!

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener thanks to Bob 'MoSkeeterz' Carroll

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened? Can you spell 'politicians'?

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I'm very strongly against tax increases. - Donald Trump

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

I wouldn't mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country. - Dick Gregory

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle

There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

I'm proud to be paying taxes. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. - Arthur Godfrey

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes;
The wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Ogden Nash

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift


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