#1 humor site on the 'net

Iraqi Passport Photos

Iraq News 'Flash' - tightened border security program

Iraqi Passport Photos thanks to Mike King

Getting around long security lineups in Iraq

QuotaBills
Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

He who becomes a Muslim does so in his own interest. - Abu Bakr

If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now. - Salman Rushdie

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I did a lot of things as a Muslim that I am sorry for now. - Malcolm X

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

I don't teach my children what is Hindu and what is Muslim. - Shah Rukh Khan

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Without doubt, Malaysia is the great economic star of the Muslim world. - Martin Jacques

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

If you look like your passport photo, then in all probability you need the journey. - Earl Wilson

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody, except bad people. - Charlton Heston

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

All are inclined to believe that they covet, from a lottery ticket up to a passport to Paradise. - Lord Byron

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Years ago, I predicted that Iran would take over Iraq. Iran and Iraq used to fight back and forth. - Donald Trump

Do not look down upon any Muslim, for even the most inferior believer is great in the eyes of God. - Abu Bakr

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

If one looks at the map of the world, it's difficult to find Iraq, and one would think it rather easy to subdue such a small country. - Vladimir Putin

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White


Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug