House Appraisal

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness. - C S Lewis

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home. - Dagobert D. Runes

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

She did not know where her home was anymore, and this idea didn’t frighten her like it should. - T.M. Williams

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

I don't want to end up in an old folks' home wearing incompetence pads. I'm still compost mentis. - Harriet Wynn

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

We can't win at home, we can't win away. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play. - Jock Brown

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. - Thomas Moore

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ. Anything that usurps that is idolatrous. - Ravi Zacharias

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules H Poincare

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison