Handyman's Christmas Tree

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. - Sally Edwards

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

The axe cannot boast of the tree it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsman. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. - Samuel Brengel

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash