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Gut Check

'Suck it in' secret to becoming a chick magnet

Gut Check thanks to Mike King

The ultimate beach body

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Beach Erosion: A case of bad tidings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Write injuries in sand, kindness in marble. - French Proverb

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Pencil: A tiny tree used to draw a line in the sand - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone. - Arab Proverb

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffett

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. - Jorge Luis Borges

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further tan the next wisecrack. - Katharine Hepburn

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Summer is a drag because even normal people become obsessed with their bodies. A bad bathing suit can humiliate you more tan anything else in life. - Conan O'Brien

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Food For Thought

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Canadian Whiskey

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Open-air schools in The Netherlands

Ghost Food

Toothpaste Holder

Two Face

Redneck Porch Hunter

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Finger Physio

Fish Eye Lens

Nice Try, China

Urgent World War I Message

Moostake