#1 humor site on the 'net

Guitar Throne

Guitar for days when nothing seems to work out

Guitar Throne thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Try playing this bass guitar - it's a real gas!

Bubba specializes in reconditioned outhouse Fender Bender guitars - gives a GR8 rendition of 'Classical Gas'

QuotaBills
Rock Music: Sung in a rocking chair - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Without music, life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Country Music: Three chords and the truth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

Music is what our soul sounds like when it sings. - Xila Toro

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life. - Jean Paul Friedrich Richter

Who hears music, feels his solitude peopled at once. - Robert Browning

Life exists for the love of music or beautiful things. - G K Chesterton

What is best in music is not to be found in the notes. - Gustav Mahler

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. - Steve Martin

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

Music can change the world because it can change people. - Bono

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. - August Rush

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. - Thomas Beecham

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart. - Pablo Casals

My guitar is not a thing. It is an extension of myself. It is who I am. - Joan Jett

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. - Elvis Presley

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. - George Carlin

If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly, and my low spirits would brighten up. - Anna Akhmatova

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

Whatever music sounds like, I am glad to say that it does not sound in the smallest degree like German. - Oscar Wilde

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar. - Jimi Hendrix

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

To stand up on a stage alone with an acoustic guitar requires bravery bordering on heroism. Bordering on insanity. - Richard Thompson

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

There is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. - Edward Elgar

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

Silent Disco: A disco in which all the participants wear wireless headphones to hear the music, thus eliminating noise pollution - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. - Albert Einstein

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


Weight Watchers Bus

Owl Perch

Stuck On High Gear

Downhill Safari

First Drink And Drive Promo

Lottery Chances

Owl Pose

Magnetic Personality

Broken Window Repair

Zamboni Mohawk

Hand Tool

Lane Closure

Chainsaw-Powered 'Dolmette' Super-Motorcycle

Lego Wall Repair

High Tensile Snow

Newborn Canadian

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Drawn To Curiosity

Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP