#1 humor site on the 'net

Full Speed Damage

Aftermath of a truck tornado

Full Speed Damage thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature but beautiful old people are works of art. - Unknown

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Fearlessness requires attention and receptivity - it takes focus to stand in the still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. - Susan Piver

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele


Moon Football

Bike Rack

Straight From The Cow

Surf-In Lunch Snack

Lateral Thinking

Da Hood Shirt

Quiet Place To Study

No Beatle Haircuts

Lego Anatomy

His First Hot Rod

Hair Safety

Open Air Reader

Vacation At Last

Cutting Edge Delivery

Sunset Eclipse

Diet Swing

Lamp Escape

Strong Straws

Lucky Spectator

Breadlace

I Think I'll Hold It

Instant Coffee Tragedy

Cow Camouflage

Room For Two