#1 humor site on the 'net

Egg Couch

You'll shell out big clucks for this eggsellent sofa

Egg Couch thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

For games where your team’s playing deserves a rotten egg or two

Why should you be the only one with egg on your face?

QuotaBills
Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. - H L Mencken

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of. - Kenneth J Shively

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Global Warming Protest

Canadian Fast Food

Wienermobile Crash

Caribou Walking

Human Pixels

Ruling On Criticism

The New Canada

Pail Face

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Redneck DoorBells

Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt