Easter Car

Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Warren: Good name for a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright