#1 humor site on the 'net

Down Day

Is it Friday yet?

Down Day thanks to Diane Baugh

I was wondering when spring is coming...

QuotaBills
Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction. - American Proverb

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child. - Marie Curie

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vasectomy: 1. Never having to say you're sorry; 2. Spoil the rod. Spare the child. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a child can't learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn. - Ignacio Estrada

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner


Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III

ThaiTanic

Aging Mermaid

Get Along Shirt

Bruce Lee Coffee

Dry Satellite

Carving The Turkey

Don't Break The Window

Nike Coffin

Redneck Ladder

Proof of Global Warming

Leading a Remote Life

Centaur of Attraction

Papa Burger

High Five, Son

What Do You See? - Part II