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Don't Try This At Home

Who said we evolved from monkeys?

Don't Try This At Home thanks to Cathy Young

Monkey see, but DON'T monkey do! Still interested in our 'Adopt A Monkey' program?

QuotaBills
Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. - James Goldsmith

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Trouble came - as trouble so often does - with a monkey. - Paul Collins

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Well, yous 2 may have come from monkeys and bamboons, but not me. - Archie Bunker

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people's drama, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys. - Polish Proverb

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The monkeys solved the puzzle simply because they found it gratifying to solve puzzles. They enjoyed it. The joy of the task was its own reward. - Daniel H. Pink

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


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